Appreciate Life, Please...

My brother in law passed away on 29th Feb, last Wednesday.

The news shocks us all, everyone, family and friends.

I received dad’s SMS at around 8.30pm when I was having my dinner in Juru Autocity that my BIL collapsed into coma and was admitted to the Emergency ward. I went blank, unable to digest the news, quickly called dad, and the more shocking details stunned me. Dad said:”the doctors are trying their best, but if they couldn’t revive him in 30 minutes, he’ll … … …”

Stupefied, I quickly informed Lim Tino about the news, and even astonished to learn that Da Jie was in KL at the time, and that they’d meet each other in the airport to catch the latest plane back.

In total astonishment, I quickly finished my meal and drove back to Perlis, where at this time I received another SMS from dad that my BIL was gone. I stopped by Alor Star to buy the earliest ticket for the next day, where I had a very bad experience with the Shamisha bus.

The moment I reached KB, I started to gather as many information as possible about his passing. The cause of death is heart attack; He passed out in his shop, sent to the hospital by his BIL; everyone was trying to revive him; his mother was in KL as well…

However, the other side of stories frustrated me. He showed signs and symptoms of heart problem for quite sometimes, eg fatigue, chest pain, numbness etc, and even complained about it once in a while, but he was too stubborn to listen to his mother and wife to go see a doctor.

There’s a saying as well that God has given him a chance on that day as when he was rushed to the hospital, the usually jammed up roads were all clear, the numerous traffic lights were all turned green, and doctors and even cardiac specialists were there to help save his life, but he couldn’t pass the critical test there and then.

Stubbornness, lack of medical knowledge, and I-think-I-can-live-longer kind of thinking has not only cost his life, it burdens the living people too.

Frankly, throughout the funeral, me and tino reached a common conclusion that the reason we cried wasn’t because of his passing, but we felt so sorry, pity and sad for our sister and her baby. They were only married last September, and she’s expecting her baby in June, just a few months away. For this, I was angry and resented my BIL for not appreciate not only his life, but his family.

His mother was devastated and was in total breakdown. Mom later told us a statement and experience from her colleague that the pain between losing a husband and losing a child is different, where the latter is much much more heartache than the former.

What I can say is, appreciate your life and don't take your life for granted. It's sad that you're gone, but it's sadder for those living ones.


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